Joy is finding equilibrium
findingJOY in life is about balance. Our challenge in modern society is identifying those things keeping us out of balance (stress on the job, over-extension on the volunteer project, perhaps family strife) and taking the steps to bring them into harmony. Into equilibrium.
When I was facing the trials as a mother of young children and a businesswoman with a budding career, I thought I was Super Woman. Really! For years I was conquering all with energy and dedication. And then one day I ‘dropped my basket.’ This saying, that friends and I would quote when a female co-worker stepped down, resigned, or was demoted, was now happening to me. I remember declaring to my family, “I thought I was Super Woman, but I am not”. To say it verbally and hear it with my own ears was finality. I had burned out. The flame gone.
Burnout is real, friends. When left unchecked, burnout will grow worse until everything of importance is abandoned or lost. Burnout is different than stress, which abates when an outcome is achieved. The psychological definition of burnout is a decline of physical, mental, and emotional health due to long-term extreme stress by not being/feeling in control. Burnout leads to resentment, and ultimately to emptiness and apathy. It’s like climbing Mt. Everest with no gear. After a while, the climber can go no further.
I learned the hard way to slow down. It took burnout to teach me how to regain harmony. To find the equilibrium amongst my livelihood, children, marriage, friendships, and even within myself (my dreams, desires, passions). I was fortunate. I had a support system to catch me in my fall. When a friend finds herself/himself with these symptoms: extreme exhaustion from stress, depression caused by responsibilities, or physical illness caused by a situation; reach out to extend a life-preserver. Be their safety-net.
If you find yourself in a situation of prolonged stress—feeling out of balance—do not let it become burnout. Find your JOY.
Identify the cause of stress. Most often I’ve found that to be self-inflicted, the need to succeed, to be perfect. Through that try to seek empowerment. Yes, get empowered with encouragement and inspiration.
Take the “me-time” to get centered, to gain clarity, and just to relax. This can be a few extra minutes each morning with a cup of coffee, a quiet bath before bedtime, or taking up a hobby that gives you pleasure.
Disconnect. Turn off the mobile phone, the television, the computer. We were not designed to work 24/7 as our society has led us to believe.
Find your calling. There are many books and schools of thought on this. Look for one that resonates with your beliefs. Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow by Marsha Sinetar is a good place to start.
I still am searching for my talents, my purpose, my calling. Regardless of what it may be, I know I’m meant to be in-balance. So, to achieve equilibrium, I’ve taken my daily life and divided it appropriately in findingJOY. It doesn't happen overnight. Just as burnout occurs overtime, generating harmony requires planning and persistence.
But, trust me friend, it is so well worth the effort.
Lagniappe. The photo is of my safety net during burnout. A friend insisted that I change out of my pajamas and take group tennis lessons (I didn’t even own a racquet - I borrowed one for a year). After almost two years of lessons, our sweet, elderly tennis coach, Jessie, encouraged us to actually play a match…and we won! And we kept on winning until we played in the Louisiana state team tennis tournament, taking second place in the 2.5 league. This was a very special time in my life, when I first learned about finding equilibrium and findingJOY. Such fond memories. Thank you peps!
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